Dear God,
Thank you for making everything good. You are so great and high above me. i cry and whine about everything. even when you are answering my prayers! i truly believe that being sent home from school early with the chicken pox was, in a way, a blessing from you. I prayed for help on my final exams, that i would be able to focus and do well, and i think your answer WAS sending me home early. i know you had a purpose in there for Haley, too. help her through these next 24 hours. help her to study really well and use her time efficiently so that she can do the best she possibly can on the chem and stats finals. help kelly with her finals, too. keep them from distracting one another too much, and help them to maximize on their time left at school. i love them, Lord. help me to love them and everyone else in the same way YOU love them. thank you for the 100% me and Haley got on the lab evaluation final! I would not be here at all if not for you. thank you for the gift of LEARNING. Thank you that i can learn and thank you for blessing me with a love of learning. i cannot take it for granted knowing all the people who hate it and/or are incapable of learning. Lord, forgive me for all the sins i have committed against your name. help me to recognize the extent of your mercy and how great a gift it really is. having grown up in the church, i really take for granted all that you've done because i'm so used to hearing about it. i'm sorry for that. i'm trying to change. i can only imagine how frustrating it would be if the creation you made was so incapable of understanding your great power and mercy, even those who are instructed in it since birth. if we can't even understand (and we may even be the worst at understanding) how merciful and forgiving you are, then how can you even stand us? yet that is something that displays your glory even more. we are so so sos sosososososo selfish. all we care about is "being a nice person" and obeying the rules and looking good, when all we should care about is obeying and honoring you. Spirit, guide me in all I do. i'm so stubborn. part of me constantly resists you, Lord, whether its because i'm rebelling against the church and modern Christianity's view of you, or because i don't want to believe it's you. God, the pop-christianity is not for me.
Lord, how do i pray? i feel like all i do is demand things from you. my whole prayer revolves around ME, and that can't be how it's supposed to be. lead me in the everlasting way. i love you, Lord. to YOU be the power, glory, and honor forever and ever. take it from me that it may be placed onto YOU. Amen.
